Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

I'm sorry, sir. I'll tell it to properly social distance next time.

First thing I'm gonna do when the pandemic ends is go back to blasting "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed. It's a little bit in poor taste right now.

Today, I'm gonna be COVID fancy—I'm gonna comb my hair

What do you call cat woman after being vaccinated?

Michelle Pfizer

(Intended to be a parody of "Closing Time" by Semisonic)

COVID times, one last call for Lysol
Replenish your toilet paper in fear
COVID times, you don't get to go anywhere
So just stay here

I don't even want to stay at home
I don't even want to stay at home
I don't even want to stay at home
STAY AT HOME!